ericboy's Diaryland Diary

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\"I draw them on / reckless and sweet\" - Glassjaw

I haven't updated in a while, and a lot of stuff has happened. However, I really don't feel like re-hashing it all. Suffice it to say that I'm still obviously not ready for a relationship, and I'm slowly becoming okay with that. I'm also realizing that it shouldn't stay that way forever, and ignoring it will not facilitate any kind of change. I really do need to do something about myself.
I'm writing another comedy currently, and I find it funny that I have to think so hard about it. When I write with my soul, letting it pour out of me without pause, it comes out dark and twisted, but oftentimes good. Impacting, anyway. When I want to write a comedy, I usually have to force it. I have to think and plan out the development of each joke, as cliche as they might be. Odd, I think.
Work has been going very well, lately. Too well, in fact. The two other music associates and I have been so on top of our shit that there is currently nothing to do. We've organized just about everything, and now find ourselves undergoing rote tasks simply to have something to be doing.
The band has a gig Friday in Fullerton with free pizza as an added bonus. Free pizza and a kick-ass rock show? Who could ask for more? We've got some San Diego shows coming up soon, as well, which is cool. We haven't played San Diego in a while, so I'm really looking forward to it. I even tried my hand at art, which I've never been good at, and am making a flyer for the bulletin board at work. It's fun, and the drawings are so disgustingly cheesy that they're cute. I like it, and that's all that matters.
I've been reading some of my old diary entries and occasionally there are ones that are funny. Lately, that doesn't seem to be the case. I think that I've been taking myself too seriously as of late, which is something I never wanted to do. Life is too short for that shit. But right now, nothing seems trivial or light. I've finally caught whatever bug was infecting everyone around me through the entire winter season. It's not that bad, really; just a scratchy throat and some nasal congestion. The worst part about about it is the lethargy, to be honest. I'm tired most of the time as it is, though, so you'd think I'd hardly notice. But this is a fatigue with weight. But tomorrow is my Friday, and I have two days off after that with which to sleep and heal. All in all, this week has been relatively effortless. Let's hope I haven't cursed my day tomorrow by saying that.
Last night, I couldn't get to sleep. I finally drifted off about five am or so and then dreamt that Jason Voorhees was rounding up my friends but wasn't killing them; he'd just herd them in a circle and then growl at them. When he finally raised his machete to deliver a blow to one of them (it was Bryen, I think), my alarm went off and Glassjaw filled the scene. I heard Daryl Pulombo say "Let's get in on this" and then I woke up and turned off the music and got ready for work. In retrospect, I don't know if it was the band's intent to jump in and help my friends or help Jason. It doesn't matter either way, I guess. I'm just curious.
Things will be changing soon; I can feel it. It's not really any record case of precognition; things are always changing. But I know that some friendly faces at work will be leaving and things around the home may be changing and the band and I are launching our career into another level with the aid of our demo. I've even been trying to make things happen with my writing as of late, sending things off to places and what have you. Just trying to better myself. Further my development, if you will. Yep. Changes.
I'm so tired. It's the sickness, mostly, and the lack of sleep. There's a spider on the wall and this corner of the lobby smells like urine. I think I'll go to sleep, now. My typing's gone to shit, anyway.

10:26 p.m. - 2005-04-18

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