ericboy's diary

ericboy's Diaryland Diary

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\"When your head hits the pillow, my head hits the floor / And I wonder why you don't return my calls anymore\" - Worth Every Scar

Last weekend, I took a sabbatical. I went to Anzo-Borrego Desert State Park with three friends from work. We left Friday night at six-ish and got back Sunday night at six-ish. We drank a lot, ate a lot, and went exploring each day. A natural phenomenon known as a "slot canyon" offered much excitement. Basically, water and weather erode a narrow split in a plateau, so when walking along the botton, there's only about three feet of space and then rock walls shoot straight up in the air fifty feet or so. I climbed everything. I became Gollum. I would scramble to the top of a rise, turn around, and bellow out "Come on, Hobbitses!" to my three friends below. It was awesome and awe-inspiring.
And much needed. March is going to be a very stressful month. My band has eight shows booked, we're recording on Tuesday, and Monday I'm casting a show that I wrote to be performed at the FaultLine. Since my last entry, I started and finished another one-act play, so now I don't feel so useless. The band played a gig in Downtown last Wednesday. The venue was really nice; high-ceiling, polished wood, tablecloths, a ramp side entrance. The bathrooms were bigger than my apartment. No Shit!! A lot bigger. It was insulting.
Last night we played a house party in Chula Vista, and I'm still here. I'm on my drummer's computer, doing a much-needed update. The rest of this month is going to kick my ass, but for now, I'm bobbing on the surface and feeling the calm. It's nice. A fellow could get used to this.
Haven't really had any revelatory thoughts or anything of the nature. I've been too busy going, going, going to ever stop and be where I am. It's always on and on to the next episode. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I came here to California to live my dreams and be creative, and that's what I'm doing. With the occasional cleansing trip to the desert I just might survive. Who knows what wonders are in store for me and my kind?

Desire For Fire
When your head hits the pillow, my head hits the floor.
And I wonder why you don't return my calls anymore.
'Cause I spend most everynight drinking and missing you
and wondering what other guy is fucking and kissing you.
'Cause you're so goddamned close that I can smell your skin
and you're batting your lashes but you won't let me in.
And I can't help but wonder what I could have done wrong
'cause you're still within arms' reach, but virtually gone.
And I'd dare not make a sound
but with time and trying I'll find that I can fly underground
with a thirty-coin purse in a parallel universe where Jesus might betray me
I'll sing your name aloud:
Forsaken!
I'll set you on fire
'cause I'm on fire
I'll set you on fire
'cause I don't want to burn alone
I'll set you on fire
porque me estoy quemando
I can feel the flames crawling up my arm
Can you feel the burn?
In my own slow way, I'll learn
There's an asinine machine that's buried in your head and it causes tears when it churns
While you're chewing on a match that will never, ever catch 'cause it's wet down to its fibers
So I'll be alone when I burn.
You'd always hoped to be immortalized in rock songs one day
Well, here's your day.
Now is it everything you wanted it to be?

9:15 a.m. - 2005-03-13

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