ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"This all hurts me so much / that I honestly believe / you're the one this is hard for.\" - Glassjaw SHIT!!!!!! So, the bad luck that greeted me last Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday had me thinking that I was in a pattern of alternating bad days. But that's not it, at all. Friday was uber-pleasant in light of all else. It's not a pattern; it's just those days. Apparently, for the rest of my natural fucking life, something bad will happen to me each and every Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday. Saturday, for instance, due to forces beyond my control, I missed the performance of the show. That's right; the show that I'm in!!!!!!!!! The cab dropped me off on the street outside the theater and I ran in to see my show on stage with a guy from one of the other shows reading my lines. He had the script on stage with him. I guess there wasn't much else they could have done, and he did a great job. Everyone showed a lot of concern at first, since I'd been so reliable up until that point, then unleashed a tirade of punishment on me. At least I'm still in the show, and next weekend should be okay. One of the girls from the other casts, Kelly, tried to talk to me this evening after the shows were over. She asked how I was doing and what had happened and then went on to make small talk. "Is this you first show" and stuff like that. I answered her questions succintly and stared off down the street, distractedly smoking a cigarette (which I'd picked up again in light of my shitty week from Hell). In retrospect, she'd gone out of her way to talk to me. She'd turned away from her established friends and tried to engage in conversation with me, standing off by myself, and I just couldn't give her anything. I can't connect with people anymore. My head is too often cluttered with the over-analytical thoughts that bounce around in the likes of this white compose box. She tried. I still don't know why. I regret not being more receptive. I'd go so far as to say that I was dismissive. I doubt she'll ever try that again. What is wrong with me? 1:28 a.m. - 2004-04-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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