ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Cross that I Bear The Cross that I Bear Someone finally did it. I knew it would happen eventually and it did. I was walking down the street to get some lunch today, looking frantically for a KFC so that I could have a side of Mac-n-Cheese, but failing miserably. At the point that my spirits were diminished fully, I turned to my left and saw that I was right next to New York Pizza. Why not? I walked in and, rather than the regular crew, only the cook that I recognized was there. Accompanying him was a hispanic fellow that I'd never seen before. They were listening to Ozzy! Well, alright, if that's not a sign then I'll never see one. I ordered my usual and sat to eat it. This guy who was hanging out and talking LOUDLY to the cook about relatively insignificant and asinine bullshit was cutting through my peace with his ignorant tone and stuttering. The cook, of course, was very pleasant and encouraging towards the guy. After all, he's an exceedingly nice guy, almost to a fault, as illustrated by this case. After finishing with the cook, the guy comes over to my table and looks down at me perplexingly. I smile and ask him how he's doing. Publicly, I'm also unfortunately exceedingly nice to a fault, but I have no control over this. I cannot be otherwise. I know, I've tried. "Why is it that you have a cross on your necklace but you're wearing a shirt that says 'Nine Inch Nails' on it?" I smiled, pleased. I'd been begging for someone to ask me this question for the longest time so that I could discharge my preconceived tirade. I set down my slice of pizza and brushed a few crumbs from my hands. I leaned back in my chair and took a deep breath. None of this was to any purpose, of course. I have a certain penchant for the dramatic and I did this all for theatrical effect. "First of all, your assumption that just because I listen to Nine Inch Nails means that I assimilate all of their views on religion and social interaction is, well, dumb. I could just like the tone of his voice and the rythm of his finely constructed beats. However, as the case may be, we see eye to eye and many subjects. Again, though, this assumption should never be made and certainly not be the basis of a comment such as the one you just layed on me. "Secondly, you assume that just because I'm wearing this cross around my neck means that I love Jesus. It doesn't. It means that I love my mother, who gave it to me, and it is to her honor that I am never without it. When I take it off before climbing in the shower or put it back on when climbing out or when it settles oddly on an abrasion on my chest, it is not God or Jesus that I think of. It is my mother's love and innocence, her desire to reach out to me, to connect with me or invite to connect with her on some level, that comes to mind. She gave me this necklace because she noticed that I didn't have any religious trinkets and thought that I either wanted or needed one. And now that I have it, I'm very glad that I do. If nothing else, it's an excellent conversation piece. "Basically what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm not concerned about making a contradictory statement because I'm not making a statement at all. I'll admit, by wearing the shirt, I'm showing my allegiance to the band, and that I don't mind. But wearing the shirt is conjunction with the necklace means nothing to me because it has never been my aim to teach anyone anything based merely on my physical appearance." To this, the man only elongated his face of confusion and shook his head and walked away. After he left, I couldn't finish my food. I'd genuinely lost my appetite. I didn't think that ever actually happpened. I thought more on what statement someone might take from my appearance. Maybe a passing christian might make the connection of the cross with a band shirt that I'm wearing and check out the band. They may not like what they hear, but they'll have heard it, and so their lives will be slightly enriched. That wouldn't be so bad. I stopped in at a karaoke bar after work this evening and sang Brian McKnight's "Anytime". I love that song. People gave me genuine applause and some guy gave me free incense, which I thought was pretty cool. Next week is looking very, very hectic. On top of working thirty-nine hours in the oddest configuration of times and days, I've also got the audio recording of "Downsized" and rehearsal and the interview at the Hillcrest News and I'd like to try to get together and spend some time with Tate next week, just to get to know her better. I suppose that requires some explanation, doesn't it? 1:55 a.m. - 2003-03-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||