ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"Hero Time starts right now!\"- The Rollins Band Saturday night, I had a moment of weakness. I almost cried while talking to Nicole about my inability to believe in myself. She was saying that I was "good", and that I knew it. I agreed; yes, I'm "good". I don't doubt my talents. What I doubt is my ability to use my talents. That's what keeps me stagnant; in the dark; not pursuing bigger and better things. So I'm sitting on my friend's patio, smoking cigarettes, drinking a Budweiser, and going on about how "Yeah, I believe in what I can do and what I have done but not my ability to do it at will; not when called upon. It's just, it's just... you see, I don't trust myself to be able to pull it off and I... I just don't know." Nicole put her hand out and said "Eric. Stop." And I did. I sobered up immediately. I had a moment of clarity. A moment of Zen, where understanding is reached and sociological place is realized. And right then and there, I made a decision. I looked back on the me that I had seen just seconds before, stuttering and falling over his own tongue. Weak, weak, weak. And I said to myself I will never be that again. And I won't. I have decided to be stronger, both physically and constitutionally. I am going to assert myself more regularly. I'm going to take my life back. It's about bloody time. 10:01 p.m. - 2004-07-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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