ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The song I hear has no words, but speaks volumes, anyway] - Pell Mell It's a triumphant day, as is any when it is a day off!! I spent most of it sleeping and now I'm downloading some tracks that I need to finish a CD. To set the record straight, it's not copyright infringement; you see, I'd owned all of these records at one time, and this is a compilation CD I'd made about five years ago. It started to skip, so I have to re-burn it. But some of the tracks that skip are from CDs that I don't own anymore, due to one outside force or another. So, you see, I have to do this. You're not buying it, are you? Oh well. Why do I always find myself attracted to women who want nothing to do with me? Why is it that I always want what doesn't want me? Why am I always wary of those who want me, assuming that they lack some brain cogwheel that would align their perception more clearly and allow them to see what a waste of human flesh I am? Why am I always aiming outside of my league? What is my league, and why do I feel like I don't belong there? I'm that fucking guy. A week from tomorrow I get on a plane and go to Texas. I'm wondering if maybe a week is too long. I'm wondering if, perhaps after four days or so, I'll be begging to come back here earlier. Or will I want to stay there forever? Surrounded by friends who love me and family who care? I'm hungry. I think I'll go get some pizza. I wish I weren't so damaged and useless. I wish I didn't feel so ugly and alone. I wish the world would open up to me like I'd like it to and I could feel as though I belonged. 5:24 p.m. - 2004-05-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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