ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Fine Line Between Pity and Hatred On my right hip there exists a very large, very dark bruise. It is awe-inspiring in its size and talent in causing debilitating pain when placed near anything foreign. I have earned this bruise rehearsing from the new show, wherein I fly (literally) onto stage and land in a crumpled heap in scene four and then get thrown across the stage in scene six. Ow! Furthermore, it's time that I got something off my chest. I have two major pet-peeves. The first one is frivolous lawsuit abuse. The lawsuit was the brainchild of lawyers and concerned citizens who realized that people are put-out by acts other than those solely criminal. When a negligent apartment complex manager refuses to replace or repair a dilapidated concrete fencepost and it wiggles loose and falls on your three-year-old child, killing him, on Christmas Eve (I've seen this happen), then you should be able to sue them for your child's hospital bills and some sort of settlement that may offer restitution for the loss of a life close to you. Not that money can replace a child, but at least mom can buy some negligee to rekindle dad's lust and you can have a go at another. At least you're not standing their, holding your grief and nothing else, wondering why God hates you so fucking much. At least you can put a dent in the financial stability of those who wronged you; your own cheap vengeance. That's the idea, and it's beautiful in its simplicity and applicability. Sueing a fast-food restaurant for serving you hot coffee and not telling you that, geez, it's hot, is not a proper use of a lawsuit. Sueing a fast-food restaurant for making you fat, when you willingly walked your fatass through its doors repeatedly and slapped your money down on the counter, is not a proper use of a lawsuit. Sueing an individual for using profanity in your presence, wearing disruptive clothing, or pointing out your own stupidity is not a proper use of a lawsuit. All you're doing then is clogging our already overloaded judicial system with your petty belief that you are the most important person in the world. That's just wrong. And it pisses me off to no end. But, enough about that. The other major pet-peeve that I have is racism. Whether you have a problem with blacks or hispanics or gays or arabians or fucking martians, I don't care. We're on this earth together, and there are enough individuals who have rightfully earned your hatred that you needn't broadcast blanket statements of distate to fill your fucking quota. If you want to hate someone, hate George W Bush. Hate Saddam Hussein. Hate George Hamilton, for all I care; just have a fucking reason. While riding the bus the other day, I saw a squat, old, crusty-mouthed white guy get on the bus. He slowed his pace near the front seats of the bus, which are clearly marked as being reserved for senior citizens, which he obviously was, and passengers with a disability, which his obesity and arthritic stature also qualified him as. Rather than sit, he sped his pace and dropped his fatass in a seat towards the back. As he passed my seat, I heard him mutter under his breath "Damn black people..." and I also got a big whiff of his bodily bouquet: toe-jam. The man smelled like the rancid foot of a medieval jouster. It made my eyes water. As he unloaded himself onto the poor seat, I heard him exclaim "killers and murderers". The "damn black people" that he was referring to weren't even in the front seats. They were seated near those front seats. Jesus Christ, they were so near that he might have heard them breathe or even smelled their skin! Gasp!! And we can't have that, now can we? To the old man on the 908 on Saturday: "MAY GOD SEE THAT YOU BURN IN HELL FOR YOUR ARCHAIC AND UNFOUNDED BELIEFS!!!! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU HAD YOUR FACE BROKEN FOR BEING A RACIST, CLOSED-MINDED ASSHOLE? IT APPARENTLY HAS BEEN TOO LONG." As I sat there, fuming, refusing to turn and look at him for fear that he would incite my anger even further, I started to feel sorry for the old man. Surely, to bear the burden of racism is not a pretty existence. I run into people that I genuinely loathe quite infrequently, but to have a hatred for all black people, one might be assaulted with the object of their scorn on a daily basis. Hourly, even. How can any one person live with that much hate? How can any one person survive with a mind that is so closed and cluttered and malficient that they could even entertain such blind hatred? Not to mention, how often does he NOT get away with that shit? I have a short fuse, but I'm a disgustingly reserved person. I'd rather harbor resentment for you and then write it down later in profane detail than tear your jugular vein out and beat you mercilessly within miliseconds of your affront. But, though I may exemplify a great portion of people in our society in that respect, there are those who cannot allow trespassers to go free. There are those who will call a person on their ignorance and demand that person pay the price for such short-sightedness. In light of all that, and knowing that this man now had one more person who loathed him in me, I felt sorry for him. His hatred had returned to him manyfold. I hated him, and I'm quite positive that I can't be the only one. He bears quite a burden. This is when I realized that there is a fine line between pity and hatred. I suppose I've always known this to be true, however. It's quite apparent in my own dealings with hatred. Yes, as I've said, I have a short fuse. But it burns out quickly, too. And I'm also quite good at forgiving people their minor indiscretions. Despite my vicious self-loathing and oddly maintained moral code, I'm a pretty relaxed guy and I don't let a whole lot get to me. To make me hate you takes extreme effort and the reward is horrible. My hatred scares me. I don't wish my hatred on anyone. So, if you do make me hate you, then I immediately feel pity for you. To be in my bad graces is a sorry position to hold. That being said, my hip hurts and I'm thoroughly exhausted, so I'm going to bed. 10:38 p.m. - 2004-05-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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