ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"Stepping through my shadow / coming out the other side / stepping through my shadow / 46 and 2 just ahead of me.\" - Tool The past two weeks have just been so... long, and... weird. My sleep-schedule is all out of whack and my brain is on edge. It's as if I'm standing at a cliffside, looking down. I feel like some breaking point is coming... and very soon. It's as if all the trials and tribulations of last week were endured to pave this week as a seeming wash of bland emptiness, which is, in effect, a cool-down period so that I can center my thoughts and emotions in preparation for what's to come... And I feel it coming. But I have no idea what it is. And I'm scared. My lesser moments... they aren't normal. I don't go through mood swings like you "normies" do. I don't handle hardships with grace and dignity. I cough and spit and cry and scream. When I break, I BREAK!! It's never a pretty sight. When I am pressed on, I react with such a fury and yearn for vengeance that I tear a hole in the fabric of space and time. And I fear that I will soon be pressed on. Be tested. Be forced to react. And I don't want to be around when that happens. But I can't escape myself. Who knows? Maybe it's nothing. Maybe I'm just thrown off by the familiarity of the past few days and the lack of wit or remembrance of instances of true, Eric-style peculiarity. Maybe it's just boredom that says something bizarre has to happen. I don't know. I hope it's just my nerves. I really do. 10:45 p.m. - 2004-04-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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