ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Night Light, Volume 1 I'm trying to arrange a paper that my friend, Bo, has written on why the troops of the French Army continued to follow Napoleon Bonaparte and I'm finding it difficult. My forte is soul-tearing confessions of truth and emptiness, not military command and strategy. I frankly don't give a fuck. Not to mention that Bo has written three or four pages of text that is completely incoherent, and rummaging through it is like walking through the mind of the crazed military leader, himself. I've always been fascinated by the Napoleonic Complex, by which one seeks to elevate themselves above the masses to overcome social differences, either fueled or perceived, but that's as far as my interest in the man goes. My mind is aflutter with women. I'm working on this paper about this short man with a deformity who rose himself in the ranks of his country's military and harbored visions of an Empire to span the globe, and all I can think about are the women in my life. Not that they are IN my life; more in my head. But they're real, and, in my head, they're really here. I think of them and I sigh, because all I really have is Napoleon, and he's no fun. I say "breakfast?" and he says "World Domination!" I say "Dominatrix?" and he says "Get your mind out of the gutter and fight!" I say "bite?" and he says "Burn in hell, you fuck!" And I sigh and think of your face, your smile, your laugh, and how you are not here. Then I minimize this window and try to arrange Napoleon's thoughts and not allow them to consume me. Perhaps some music will lessen the strain. Pell-mell has a CD called "Interstate" from DGC records that showcases alternative rock songs with emphasis on steel guitar and no words. Their compositions, track 2 in particular, are quite reminiscent of R.E.M., circa the IRS records years. Perhaps they will help diffuse the situation. Being instrumental, they don't clutter the mind with words to emulate, but rather free it with a lush palate on which the mind can paint as it so desires. Let's hope that they do the trick. 3:56 a.m. - 2003-11-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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