ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- nothingness Emptiness: a fellow who has too many "friends" and not enough compassion for any of them. I've been in a mood all day. Not a bad mood; just a mood. I think that I'm developing claustrophobia. Can a person develop a neurosis such as that so late in life? I've felt cramped by everybody today. I went to Katie's apartment this morning to go to a restaurant and talk to a friend of hers about a job and immediately I started feeling out of place. Annoyed by her exhuberance at such an ungodly early hour. She had a lot to say; none of it bad. Just conversation. Just a friend enjoying a nice talk with another friend. But I was in no position to listen and act like I cared. I tried to go through the motions but found it hard. She picked up on it right away and lashed out at me. I assured her that it wasn't her fault at all and I was trying with all of my might not to direct any of my negative energy towards her. I failed at that, I see. We went to eat and the server intimidated me with his nearness. I just wanted to get out and feel the breeze on my forehead. And that's what I'm doing now. Walking without purpose. 6:40 p.m. - 2003-09-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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