ericboy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"Morning grey ignites a twisted mess of foreign shapes and sounds\" - Hum I've been listening to a whole lot of Catherine Wheel and singing a whole lot of Tool. Christmas was just another anonymous day for me. I got out of bed. No tree with dazzling lights and ornaments that I'd saved since I was a child. No pretty paper, ribbons, or bows. No warm smiles and friendly words. My mother did call this morning but I was so zonked out that I recall very little of what was said. I merely dressed and went to work. I was greeted there by a dozen or so gnarly-looking people waiting in a haphazard line. Charming. I worked. Teresa came by with her brother and we went to Carl's Jr so that they could watch me eat. I went back to work. I worked. That was really all that there was to it. I left work and walked to my old apartment to see my cats. The house reeked of cat piss and general disarray. I checked their litter box to find an inch-thin layer or litter along the bottom, caked and stinking with kitty defecate and pee. Goddamnit. I found a sweater that I'd been missing in the closet, put it on, and walked some thirteen or fourteen blocks to the Sav-on and bought cat litter and chocolate milk, then thirteen or fourteen blocks back. I filled the box and read over some old writing that I had left behind and listened to a cool relaxing jazz CD that I had left behind and ruminated on the life that I had left behind. I left there a little after one and went to the 7-Eleven to buy smokes. I wandered up and down the short aisles, thinking that there was something that I wanted; something to complete me. Some kind of comfort...something. I settled on a brownie. After eating, I didn't feel any more comfort. I didn't feel much of anything, really. At my home, there are books, CDs, and movies that I can use. I'm too tired to read, too *something* to listen to music in a way that will fulfill me, and my DVD player won't play my movies. Although uneventful and anything but memorable, today was a good day, and I feel alright right now. Odd... 1:40 a.m. - 2003-12-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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